I’m an experienced gardener.  And by “experienced,” I mean that I spent approximately twelve hours [total] in my front yard last June pulling weeds and planting seventeen perennials.  Three of my plants returned this spring.  Fourteen of my plants withered away after spending less than a week in my soil, precious begonias among that number.  Alas!  Alack!  And other such poetic laments.  I have gardening experience, but minimal gardening success.

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