Good Things – #12

It’s been a while pals and gals! Lately I’ve been busy enough to impress even the skeptics, but today I decided to take some time out just for you. Feel special! This Sunday-Spectacular Good Things has the late, great Steve Hill and Leonard Ravenhill, Al Green, and a trip to the Far Side.

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Snow White Syndrome

I have a problem with Snow White. Oh sure, she turned some bachelor dwarves into gentlemen, and had forest animals cleaning house for her; but homegirl was not present, when it came to a genuine life or death decision. Snow White may have been the fairest of the land, but she surely wasn’t the brightest. 

Let’s review her story, shall we? Snow White’s wicked stepmother tries to kill her on the sly. An assassin lets her go with the warning that her stepmother won’t stop trying until she (Snow White) is dead. Then begins a lifestyle of witness protection with the aforementioned dwarves, and everything is hunky dory, peachy keen. Out of the blue, a witch appears – horrifying in the face, traditional crone features, etc. This witch offers a poisoned apple, and without a “hmmm-I’m-a-hunted-woman-perhaps-this-is-a-set-up” pause, Snow White eats the apple. Of course, since the apple is poisoned, she’s out of commission indefinitely.

“Girrrrrl, what happened? How could you get comfortable enough to forget that someone was out there trying to kill you?” Feel free to read that out loud with indignation and soul, we’ll come back to it later.

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Let’s Talk About Trust Ba-by!

When I was a child, I had one major fear: that when I got older, God would make me marry a boy who I felt was downright icky. This fear was 100 percent due to older church members telling me to “be nice, because [he] just might be who God wants you to marry when you grow up.” I was genuinely terrified to see my adult years. Well I’m here now – adulthood, I mean – and I haven’t married the aforementioned boy (praises). Being single though, and therefore subject to constant poor relationship advice, I often hear that I should be careful when I pray for a spouse, because I just might get what I ask for. What does that even mean? But, beyond that, what does that say about God? Nothing good, that’s for sure.

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Giving Sight to the Blind

Does anyone else hate taking eye exams?  (Those with poor vision, I mean.) Especially that Snellen eye chart. We’re bound to screw up, we know that going in, yet we still read aloud with a modicum of confidence. And optometrists are so smug when they ask you to repeat a line, like that’s going to help you realize which blur read incorrectly. Your girl had 20/70, so I only ever saw the top three lines clearly (including the giant E). Yet I tried to read all eleven lines. I tell you, it’s downright embarrassing when you finally see things normally, and then notice that you thought the chart contained numbers instead of letters. I mean…I heard that was an embarrassing experience for…someone else.

Humiliating moments aside, without a Snellen chart, I would never have known how bad my vision really was. I needed a standard to measure up to, in order to see how much I needed to correct my vision.

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Jesus is Coming Soon…And He’s British!!!

Hillsong Jesus is coming to a theater near you in February

There is yet another movie about Jesus coming soon. Unlike The Passion, in this movie a Portuguese man, portrays an White-Israeli man, while speaking English with an aristocratic British accent. I love that we’re trying to accurately portray the life of Christ! All of us can agree that a British accent ups the ante on quality film-making.

If you know me in the slightest, you know that I hate the archetypal image known as Jesus. Some of us call it White Jesus, and to others, it’s just plain old Jesus – but I can’t stand it either way. This isn’t a race thing; because, I’m not a fan of Black Jesus either. I am wholeheartedly against all artistic/actor portrayals of, or artistic license taken with, the mightiest man of history and eternity. We had a giant statue of a man in a robe, known as “Touchdown Jesus” in town. When I heard that it burned down, after being struck by lightning, I rejoiced with timbrel and dance. May all idols face the same demise!

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