I have a problem with Snow White. Oh sure, she turned some bachelor dwarves into gentlemen, and had forest animals cleaning house for her; but homegirl was not present, when it came to a genuine life or death decision. Snow White may have been the fairest of the land, but she surely wasn’t the brightest.
Let’s review her story, shall we? Snow White’s wicked stepmother tries to kill her on the sly. An assassin lets her go with the warning that her stepmother won’t stop trying until she (Snow White) is dead. Then begins a lifestyle of witness protection with the aforementioned dwarves, and everything is hunky dory, peachy keen. Out of the blue, a witch appears – horrifying in the face, traditional crone features, etc. This witch offers a poisoned apple, and without a “hmmm-I’m-a-hunted-woman-perhaps-this-is-a-set-up” pause, Snow White eats the apple. Of course, since the apple is poisoned, she’s out of commission indefinitely.
“Girrrrrl, what happened? How could you get comfortable enough to forget that someone was out there trying to kill you?” Feel free to read that out loud with indignation and soul, we’ll come back to it later.