Yesterday was slightly hectic, and by day’s end, I was too tired to post.  So today, I’m going to hit a double-header.

Corporate fasts are a wonderful thing, because nobody has to endure alone.  I’m so grateful for my church family during this time!  Yesterday my sister, a sister from church and I talked about our struggles and encouraged each other to “hold on.”  It may seem trite or cliché – but it was much needed and appreciated.   Our church had a Hallelujah Party, or what others may know as a Harvest Party, and it was torturous filling bags with candy and baking chocolate cupcakes knowing that I would have no part in eating them.  After my full day, I really felt like I deserved a venti vanilla chai latte from Starbucks.

This Starbucks thing is getting harder and easier at the same time.  Initially, I would have the idea of Starbucks floating in my head all day long.  More annoying than anything.  Now I get an intense craving that may hit for about an hour.  And I try to reason myself out of fasting (“Well it has been six days…God won’t mind.”).  The frustrating thing is the underlying fact that I don’t deserve anything.  I haven’t truly suffered.  Indulgence became such a huge part of my lifestyle and it’s embarrassing to deal with the self-evaluation that comes through struggle.  So while I don’t want Starbucks all day, when I do want it I want it bad.  I’ve decided not to get any tomorrow – even though I had originally planned to break my fast on Sundays – I don’t want to get lax in one area and have everything fall apart.  It only takes one leak to sink a ship.

Today I haven’t eaten any meat!  I’m trying to focus more on the prayer aspects of the fast now.  The shock of the new diet has worn off, and I don’t want everything to fall back into a routine…I want to continue the humbling and the urgent study.  This whole thing can tend to be depressing, because so many physical comforts and delights are suddenly gone.  If I don’t seek the Lord more, then I will get low.  Fasting isn’t called mourning for nothing, there’s a sobriety comes with it.  BUT Christ is my joy and I can’t keep my head up and my path bright without Him.  So this whole thing is teaching me the importance of relying on Him fully.  And that’s a good thing.

Now, I’m all caught up with what needs to be done, and that’s huge for a Saturday.  There’s another perk of fasting: procrastination is practically nonexistent!  I just ran a tub full of water and bubbles and I plan on ending my Saturday in relaxation and Gungor.

Until tomorrow:)

Today’s Scripture:

…In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore – Psalm 16:11 (NKJV)